Curate Your Character
Bridge the Gap Between Appearance and Reality
Everyone has seen posts on social media highlighting the difference between altered appearances and ruthless reality.
In modern life, a massive gulf exists between the two. At times, it’s laughable.
In response, culture started to concern itself with the “real” and “authentic” in recent years.
People grew tired of seeing put-together portraits and hearing about perfection. They sense their faults and recognize this essence of humanity in others too.
Faking perfection always fails. No matter how good the glamorized version of someone’s life looks, it never holds up in real time.
What if you lived an authentic life — you neither feel like you need to fake it nor fear others finding you out as a fraud?
What if you could live with a sincerity that ensures, as Oswald Chambers says, “the appearance and reality are exactly the same.”
Bridging the gap between appearance and reality in your life begins with curating sincere character — that’s how you can affirm your authenticity.
Curating character begins with recognizing reality before reforming.
Most people misunderstand character. They think it demands perfect piety.
The reality?
A rock-solid reputation requires ruthless responsibility.
People of character own their flaws and admit their faults.
People who have a chasm between appearance and reality try to play the perfection game.
The acceptance and praise of others motivates them.
They hide their humanity, neglecting humility, and promote their perfection in pride.
They always calculate and scheme. Their lives exhaust them as they battle the unending inner turmoil.
They showcase what they think people want to see because they fear that others will reject them based on their past, their faults, and their flaws.
The plain truth?
Everyone has major issues. Everyone knows that.
So, if you want to curate character, start with admitting and accepting your weaknesses, brokenness, and regrettable sides.
Once you do that, you’re on your way to bridging the gap between appearance and reality.
Few people have a character that surpasses their reputation.
Discovering someone’s true character often concludes in disappointment, rather than delight.
Why?
Often times, you only see one side of someone until tragedy strikes.
Then, character gets confronted and circumstances challenge sincerity.
When your wishes wither, does your character crumble?
When your circumstances come crashing down, who do you become?
Sincere character endures droughts and storms. Like an evergreen tree, it never changes with the seasons — it has a consistent presence.
How can you build it?
Start here.
Here’s how you can build sincere character.
Don’t let your circumstances affect your joy, beliefs, or habits. You will do that when you remember that The Sun Is Always Shining.
Be the person who can show what they have done in the dark in the light.
Follow through on your promises. Never make one you can’t keep.
Be honest about the shortcomings in your life.
Apologize when you mess up.
Own your mistakes.
Mend and heal.
I have always loved these words from Francis Spufford.
Being mended is not the same thing as never broken.
We are not being promised that it will be as if the bad stuff never happened.
It’s amnesty that’s being offered, not amnesia; hope, not pretense.
The story of your life will be the story of your life, permanently.
It will still have the kinks and twists and corners you gave it.
The consequences of your actions, for you and for other people, will roll inexorably on.
Or, your life would not be your life, you would not be you, the world would not be the world.
We all fall short of the glory of God. Recognizing this and forgiving yourself and others through the grace of God grants an opportunity to learn and grow.
In conclusion, you will never attain perfection in this life, but you can seek sincerity.
You can bridge the gap between appearance and reality.
You just need to curate your character.