Compassionate Correction
Learn How to Funnel Your Feedback
Become Irreplaceable: How to Future Proof Yourself Against AI is the most recent episode of the YOU Not Me Podcast. It’s available on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
The Problem
Every leader has to correct their people at some point.
Too often, though, corrections crush others.
When that happens, the leader misses the mark, and the recipient misses the leader’s message. They feel threatened, rather than recognizing the invitation to blossom into a promising future.
So, how can you give honest feedback without tearing people down?
You need to start seeing feedback as a gift, and you must wrap it in compassion.
This kind of feedback will build, rather than break, your people.
Compassion and correction appear as antonyms and often operate as opposites.
Yet, today I will show you why they function as friends and unlock a filter for your feedback for your people’s success.
The Practice
When you correct others, you must be honest.
People sense when you’re trying to be too nice or beating around the bush to avoid confrontation or telling the full truth.
They don’t grow, and you keep the relationship from deepening and hold them at arm’s length.
Don’t just think through what you’re going to say, think through how you need to say it.
The research supports this — your approach to feedback determines whether you build or break others.
In one famous study, psychologist Marcial Losada found that high-performing teams had a positive-to-negative feedback ratio of 5.6 to 1, while low-performing teams averaged 0.36 to 1 (Losada & Heaphy, 2004).
Gallup’s research shows that employees who receive meaningful feedback each week have 3.6 times higher engagement at work, and those who receive negative feedback are 20 times more disengaged (Gallup, State of the American Workplace, 2017).
Having simple rules of thumb matters as a leader—it’s not fluff, it’s proven to sustain performance.
So, when you correct:
Stay specific and thoughtful.
At least three positives for every one negative.
End with a vision for their growth—not an outburst of your frustration.
Rather than focus your correction on your disappointment, focus it on their development.
Don’t just tell them you’re invested in them—show them! Paint a picture of their potential.
The Purpose
As you approach this week, take time to reflect.
How has your feedback formed your people?
When you give feedback, do people walk away discouraged or determined?
Do they find disappointment or direction?
As you analyze your attitude towards giving others feedback, test compassionate correction on yourself.
Critique yourself with kindness. Reprove yourself with care.
You don’t let yourself off the hook. But you don’t let yourself down.
You don’t beat around the bush. But you don’t beat yourself to a pulp either.
Then, take the time to cast a vision for how you intend to give feedback.
How can you make your next correction caring and thoughtful?
What lies between you and that outcome? What changes do you need to implement?
The purpose?
Your people will not only perform better — they will gain a newfound engagement at work, appreciation for correction, and trust in you.
Now go and be the change. Care about others, their growth, and their future to make them better.
Losada, M., & Heaphy, E. (2004). The Role of Positivity and Connectivity in the Performance of Business Teams. American Behavioral Scientist.
Gallup. (2017). State of the American Workplace. Gallup, Inc.